As The World Goes By

“I have learned that happiness is subjective; it does not depend upon any other person or any particular environment. It depends solely upon our relation to the great currents of life. If we resist there is friction and distress; if we fling ourselves boldly into the eternal tides we are swept into every form of beauty and of truth.”

Elisabeth Brooks, As the World Goes By
 

Last weekend my parents and I had a conversation about the idea of me moving away from Minnesota. They brought it up. It seems like suddenly everyone is talking to me about me leaving. Is my restlessness palpable?

And then we watched Brooklyn (startlingly apropos) and I ... I cried a lot ... and then I cried some more at the restaurant afterwards. Public tears! Tears tears tears for something I - at best - don't know if I want and - at worst - terrifies me.

This stupid stay-or-go problem has been on my mind for years, though. I try to push it away but it keeps coming back. I don't know why or where it comes from. What am I looking for that I don't already have? Where would I go? What would I do?

It seems deciding is the hardest part. But how does a person decide? Where does a person find their 'eternal tide'?

(Also, speaking of Brooklyn, think that Domhnall Gleeson is single? Because ... you know ... )